Ava - February to August 2010

The Open Sesames' blog is going to soon start appearing as an integrated part of The Fiddleguy's Place website instead of being imported into the website, as it has been for a while now, from Blogspot.

Because of this I am breaking off this blog so it covers just the months of February to August, 2010 inclusively - the "early days" of The Open Sesames.

I really like working on Blogspot but, when it is imported into The Open Sesames' section of The Fiddleguy's Place website, it isn't framed/aligned properly and this bothers me.

So, as soon as Wolf our resident computer wizard gets me set up to blog as an integrated part of the website (identical in setup to the blogs kept by Garrick, Pamela and Stuart) then I will resume blogging as a "Sesame" over there.

Wolf's been indisposed for the last little while so it is taking longer to make the transition then I expected but it should happen this week.

That's good because I am getting a bit back-blogged so to speak.

Thanks for reading.

Please follow along with the new The Open Sesames blog at:

www.thefiddleguy.com

Ava - Dear Stuart

I'm going to miss you today my friend and fellow Sesame.

I still can't believe you aren't going to be behind me on this day of all days.

But, I know you will be with me -and with Garrick - in spirit and that you wish The Open Sesames every success at this, their first (very) public performance.

And, I do firmly believe you will be joining us again when the planets align and the wheel doth turn in the right way to bring this about - exactly as things happened for the 3 of us in the beginning.

Ava - Some Days ....

And, it has definitely been one of those days.

In other words ... what the hey?

On the bright side I find I am not prepared to quit my work and that's good to know (about myself).

Speaking only for myself I have found "the principle that is above personalities".

We are all flawed (some of us perhaps tragically and fatally) therefore if even two people are going to work together successfully, it has to be about THE WORK and about nothing less.

So, it turns out that I am still prepared (in spite of my frayed nerves and my broken heart) to give my performance on the 28th my very best and, hopefully, to knock it right out of the park.

Ava - A Perfect Fool

What kind of fool
Leaves all behind
To scale the highest peaks
Oh, let me be
That perfect fool
Who, once poised, doth leap.

What kind of fool
Travels light
With a trusted friend
Oh, let me be
That perfect fool
Who this way ascends.

What kind of fool
Bares his soul
For all the world to see
Oh, let me be
That perfect fool
Who is both wide and free.

What kind of fool
Accepts the gift
The gods delight to give
Oh, let me be
That perfect fool
Who gladly dies to live.

What kind of fool
Lifts his face
And drinks in crystal air
Oh, let me be
That perfect fool
Who outwits every snare.

What kind of fool
Wears a plume
Reaching for the sun
Oh, let me be
That perfect fool
Who shines for everyone.

What kind of fool
Leaves all behind
To scale the highest peaks
Oh, let me be
That perfect fool
Who, once poised, doth leap.

I have long thought 0-The Fool is the most inspirational - and inspiration filled - card in the Major Arcana of the tarot deck. And would that I be so.

I have recently learned that the shadow side of being 0-The Fool is being a fool in the way the world understands a fool to be.

Definition as per on-line Oxford Dictionary: A person who acts unwisely or imprudently.

And then there is the old saying: "A fool and his money are soon parted".

So, I ask myself: Is being a fool a good thing or actually a bad thing?

Interesting...

Ava - Planting and Harvesting

I recently made the second biggest decision of my life (the first was to bear and raise a son in spite of "adverse" conditions).

I decided to take a precious seed I had been storing up for a future planting (the harvest of which was intended to provide me with food and shelter) and to plant it in such as way it could potentially provide ample food and shelter for myself and for 4 other people I deemed worthy for reasons I deeply believe in.

So, now there are 5 trustees of my precious seed instead of just myself.

5 people who need to understand that a seed needs the right conditions to bring it to fruition and harvest.

5 people who need to know you can't yank up a seed and check it every other day to see if it is "doing anything".

5 people who need to be patient and to trust and to tend this seed with the necessary care and due diligence.

5 people who need to understand that a seed such as this requires "love and light" in which to grow and produce.

5 people who need to be committed to the successful growth of this seed - no matter what.

5 people who need to work together to make sure this seed is being looked after first and foremost.

5 people who care enough about this seed, and about each other, to do whatever it takes to create the conditions of love, respect and trust required to tend this seed together and to harvest it together. And, then, to eat and to celebrate together.

It's almost biblical - a single seed, a single coin, a single drop of oil in a lamp. There is a way for this seed to produce a bountiful harvest intended for all and there is only one way. I knew it at the time. I know it now. And, yes, the road is narrow and the eye of the needle is small but, hey, isn't it thrilling to be making the attempt?

If this isn't real life - and the best of real life - then I truly don't belong in this world.

Ava - So ....

"romantica the album" - or as I am learning to call it in e-store-ese "romantica the product" or "romantica the parent" - is now fully stocked and ready to go in the music section of The Fiddleguy's Place website ... taking its place beside the fully stocked "The Tarot Immersions" product/parent

i am getting quicker at creating an "item" or, if you wish, a "child" (which is further e-store-ese for each cut on an album) and, like anything that is done over and over, the repetition helps a lot ... each one comes along a little more smoothly than the last

this makes two music products fully loaded ... one more, QUIETLY LOUD by "the frenetic", to go ... so I could say at this point I am "on top of it ... sorta"

and before we know it, The Open Sesames will complete their new "Truth or Dare" collection of spoken word set to music pieces and I'll begin stocking the e-store on The Fiddleguy's Place website all over again

busy, busy, busy ..........

Ava - Ava's Lament

Gone are the places where once I did roam
Gone is the laneway beside my old home.
Gone are the night times of silence and dark
Gone are our picnics in Wellington Park.

Gone are my neighbours, my family, my friends
Gone are the summers that seemed without end.
Gone are the whispers that swept through the trees
Gone are the children who went were they pleased.

Gone are the shorelines stretching for miles
Gone is the harvest heaped up in great piles.
Gone are the days when dogs were not tied
Gone is the horse upon which I did ride.

Gone is the schoolhouse with rooms one and two
Gone are the boots that fit over our shoes.
Gone is the farmer who slaughtered his pigs
Gone is the barn dance and gone are the jigs.

Gone is the girl with the penny bright eyes
Gone are the sayings that once were deemed wise.
Gone are the men folk who stood over me
Gone is the time when admission was free.

Gone are the fields in which nothing was built
Gone are the gatherings for stitching a quilt.
Gone are the cellars full of bottles and jars
Gone is the age for wishing on stars.

- Ava Darling

Lament: Passionate expression of grief; elegy; dirge; express or feel grief for or about; mourned for

Ava - Hurray!

I have now entered all 22 "immersions" of The Tarot Immersions album into the e-store on The Fiddleguy's Place website and they look and sound great. By sound I am referring to the sound "preview" that accompanies each one.

Reading the long description and viewing the card a particular "immersion" is amplifying - while listening to its preview - gives a visitor to the e-store a good insight into what's being offered.

Next to be entered into the e-store will be the pieces from the QUIETLY LOUD album by "the frenetic". This should be fun because I have to fabricate a little story to go with each one (hmmm...what is the story behind Porta Potty Party, one might well wonder??) and Pamela K. will be adding an evocative image that she feels suits each tune to make them even tastier.

It will be fascinating to see how this collection of sounds by "the frenetic", my little stories and Pamela K.'s images all connect with each other.

More to follow .....

Ava - Monday's Dungeon Report

Very good, very necessary but very tedious work was accomplished in the dungeon today. Namely, all the mp3 files for "QUIETLY LOUD" and "romantica" were resaved in a higher quality format and - at the same time -previews were created for each and every one of them.

Now, all these downloadable mp3's and their previews have to be renamed according to a strict standard taught to me by Wolfgang (that works very well from a "file management" point of view), uploaded to The Fiddleguy's Place website and, finally, added to the webstore - complete with sku numbers, short and long descriptions, and images.

At the same time, I am still struggling (by times) to complete this exact same process for "The Tarot Immersions" collection which, I suppose, is my teacher for all this work and so is the exact place where I am learning everything not to do and everything to double check, triple check and quadruple check.

I am very satisfied with the work I have done so far but OMG is it painstaking!

Step by step.

Ava - It's Like Scottish Country Dancing

Learning to Scottish Country Dance with a fair degree of competency allowed me to experience one of life's great simple pleasures - this being an opportunity to dance in unison (with a mutually sustained positive and focussed energy) with a "set" of 6-8 people .

A well executed, perfectly timed dance brings its dancers into a type of accord that is very, very satisfiying. In fact, I would say the feeling is ("small o") orgasmic.

Is it easy to learn? No. Well, not exactly. It's complex but it isn't hard once you know the steps.

Now, why am I bringing this up right now? Well, it's because when I was looking for an image to illustrate this blog (which is actually about creating and/or editing items in the eshop on The Fiddleguy's website) I found what I was looking for when I came across a picture from my Scottish Country Dancing days.

Is stocking a web store with worthwhile and enticing items easy to do? No. Well, not exactly. It's complex but it isn't hard once you know the steps.

And, luckily, in both cases I have had good instruction from accomplished teachers.

Ava - Dungeon Report, July 19, 2010

I'm in and out of the dungeon a day early this week because tomorrow - instead of being underground creating wild and wonderful musical/vocal stories as part of 'The Open Sesames" - I will be on the Outlet Beach (yes, the old time county residents still refer to it this way) with Diane, my very first best friend from my West Lake Road days, and with Bonnie, Diane's first cousin and my now Sister-Friend.

In the meantime, lots is happening down here. We have recorded two new pieces for our "Truth or Dare" collection and our first "Bed Time Story for Grown-Ups" that we will be offering as a TOS freebie on The Fiddleguy's Place website.

This first bed time story is a preamble leading into the body of work which will all be offered for free on the website - a new story each month.

How exciting!

Ava - I Am Also Hearing

Along with deepening and widening my appreciation for "The Tarot Immersions" (and opening my mind to ways that will best help it take wing and fly out into the world) my focussed, repeated listening to the 22 "Immersions" is helping me to realize something important about "The Open Sesames".

From the earlier released "romantica" to the newly released "The Tarot Immersions" we are creating a powerful, potent, original collective voice which we can use to tell many interesting stories.

I can't wait to see what The Open Sesames will apply their emerging, increasingly polished collective voice to next. We already have some ideas in the hopper so, again .....

Stay tuned.

Ava - Friday Night Musing

It's Friday night and I am home listening to (surprise, surprise) "The Tarot Immersions" on my headphones. Right now, it is all I listen to. Why? Well, sometimes I listen just for myself. At these times I am simply appreciating it as a major creative accomplishment for "The Open Sesames".

And sometimes I listen on behalf of others who have, or will, be exposed to the 22 "Immersions" on this 2 CD set. I try to imagine what they are hearing and, of course, I can't really know that, can I?

But, I do know a few things. I know what listeners are NOT hearing.

They are NOT hearing a body of work designed to lull them into a meditative state of mind - even though some of the pieces will do just that when listened to with an open, relaxed, and accepting attitude. Instead, what really happens is the 22 "Immersions" on "The Tarot Immersions" takes the listener on a journey which, by times, is rousing, calming, provocative, evocative and even, in one particular instance, comical.

Stated simply: Each "Immersion" is the voice of the tarot card it represents and each card represents a stopping place on a top/down, human journey in which the newly emerged divine spark (0-The Fool) descends down, down, down to become at home in the world (XXI-The World).

Further to this - and just as important - "The Tarot Immersions" is a really neat listening experience. The music is GREAT and the vocals are layered and textured in very intriguing ways. In fact my vocals sound like my visual work looks. How cool and reassuring is that? I recognize the vocal aspects of this body of work as something I was 100% involved in because I recognize myself in it.

But, this is only one place where I have parked my mind for the evening. I am also getting more and more familiar with "The Tarot Immersions" - by encountering all 22 "Immersions", over time, and from every angle - so I can see how best to give it wings. Now that it has arrived I find, through my listening, that I truly believe it deserves to fly out into the big, wide world.

Thinking about ways to propel "The Tarot Immersions" upward and outward is an entirely new mind-set and thought process for me.

Stay tuned.

Ava - A Small Victory (I Hope)

Okay ... it goes like this:

check

double-check

triple check

upload files to wolf

read wolf's response

apologize for stupidity

change everything

check

double-check

triple check

upload files to wolf

read wolf's response

apologize for further stupidity

change everything

check

double check

triple check

upload files to wolf

wait to hear back

HOPE it's right this time (i think it might be)

nope

wrong again

but only partially

i HOPE

Ava - Looking Good

Ava - What came down ...

It's ironic ...

That which was originally created to describe a process of descending (the major arcana of the tarot) and that which was created out of this descent (The Tarot Immersions) now has to ascend (to its proper place in The Fiddleguy's Place website store) - which, could be as far away as the moon for all the effort it feels to require.

Ava - OHHHHHH My!

Now that "The Tarot Immersions" project is completed (along with "Romantica" and "QUIETLY LOUD" by the frenetic) - and The Fiddleguy's Place website is up and running and lookin' damn fine (thanks to Flying Wolf) - the real "fun" begins. By this, of course, I mean the real work begins.

Getting the music, the videos and the art work by Pam K. prepared to be uploaded to the website makes my head go ... well, you can see exactly how it makes my head go.

It feels like a huge mountain to climb and not with giant strides but with tiny, intricate steps - each one perfect and each one necessary. Just getting my head around these steps makes my head go ... well, you can see exactly how it makes my head go.

On the other hand, what an achievement it will be to reach the top of this mountain - especially considering all the tiny, intricate steps it took to do it. And, further to this (I say to encourage myself), think how super great will it feel to make our first sale from the website store.

Ohhhhhhhhh! Joy!

Ava - Celebrate!

As of yesterday afternoon, "The Tarot Immersions" project is completed, labelled, packaged and already starting to let itself be known to new listeners.

Speaking for "The Open Sesames" we are thrilled and satisfied with what we have created and with how well we worked together to create it.

Although there were, of course, birthing pains they were only those that suited the magnitude and the originality of what we had taken on when we agreed to do a musical interpretation of the major cards of the arcana (based on the classic Rider-Waite deck).

Was great effort required? Yes.

Did we collectively have what it takes to meet the challenge? Hell, YES!

Ava - More about "The Tarot Immersions" Project

With extreme gratitude and with mounting excitement I am pleased to find "The Open Sesames" are ready to create their last "Immersion" piece tomorrow.

It has been a long journey but one the "Sesames" have, in truth, negotiated handily and in a timely fashion. In fact, how well we have handled creating something this original amazes me and bodes well for our future conceptual projects (and I already have some inspiring "source material" to begin immersing myself in for the next one).

We possess something so precious in terms of our creative connection and our respect for each other as co-creators. I'm so thankful I have lived long enough to know all I could ever dream of (without even knowing it was the work of "The Open Sesames" I was dreaming of and preparing myself for) is achievable.

Identical to our last "Immersion" piece, XXI-The World, I really have come home to the world through my involvement in the work of "The Open Sesames".

Ava - "The Tarot Immersion" - XXI-The World

"At last I am here
At last I am here
At last I am here in the world.
Now my new life begins
Now my new life begins
Now my new life begins to unfurl."

- chorus from "XXI-The World"

Ava - Happy Canada Day!

Happy Canada Day one and all from near and far.

I had planned on visiting Bonnie and Jon on the farm for the afternoon - with the possibility of going to Bath in the evening for their fireworks display - but it turns out The Montreal Jazz festival taxed both of these good people to the max (and happily so) and they are resting today on their own.

So ... what to do?

Well, I am reading an awfully good murder mystery right now so there's that to pursue in luxurious moments spent in the sun on my new deck surrounded by things growing and things kitsch.

More importantly, there is the last set of lyrics to write for "The Tarot Immersions" project which, once written, I can record on Monday when I am next scheduled to work in The Dungeon with Garrick (and also, by times, with Stuart and Dan). I have selected the piece of music I am going to set them to and it is a beautiful piece for what needs to be a very beautiful and satisfying ending to the work and, most importantly, to the tarot journey that has been successfully made from 0-The Fool to XXI- The World.

Beyond that, I have no plans because that's the very best, most soul-satisfying part of a holiday - having one's time completely at one's own disposal. Yes?

Ava - "The Tarot Immersions" - XX-Judgement

There is always a day of reckoning. Today is that day. This is the last step before reaching our destination which we set out for so long (and so many cards) ago.

"Rise up friend and face yourself and on with life you go.

When the trumpet sounds, when the trumpet sounds, when the trumpet sounds, when the trumpet sounds."

- chant for XX-Judgement.

Ava - "The Tarot Immersions" - XIX-The Sun

The end of our journey from rarefied spirit (o-The Fool) to full materialization (XXI-The World) is nigh.

In our descent we encountered important aspects of our humanity and have embraced what they have to teach and to give. We have not hid or faces nor shirked our responsibilities to our journey and to ourselves.

Now the end of the path is in sight and the warmth and the blessing of XIX-The Sun fills us with pure joy and a sense of celebration for a journey well and truly made.

Our hearts are child-like and our instincts are gathered to paw the ground we will soon fully touch down on.

All is well and all will be well.

Ava - The Tarot Immersions (18 out of 22)

Last night I adjusted my head set and listened to the 18 out of 22 Tarot Immersion pieces we have finalized back-to-back and in the order they were created (which is also the order of the cards they reflect).

It was a fascinating listen. Some of the pieces are demanding but rewarding. Some of them go down like candy. One piece makes me laugh 'til the tears roll down my cheeks.

All of them are completely sincere.

All of them are accomplished.

All of them make me feel blessed both because I took part in their creation and because I shared this creative process with Garrick and Stuart - two musicians at the top of their game who deigned to work with me (a rank beginner) on this project and make it come to pass beautifully, interestingly and provocatively.

Thanks guys, I love your music.

Ava - "Tarot Immersions" - XVIII-The Moon

Moonlight is different than starlight (as we will now find) is different than sunlight (as we will discover next). Starlight caresses while moonlight stresses while sunlight blesses.

Feel yourself in the light of the quarter, the half and the full moon. Each of the phases of the moon stresses a different aspect of your "nighttime self".

"The Moon.
Feel it's pull
And your response.
Hear it's call
And your answer.
The Moon."

- chorus from XVIII-The Moon

Ava - Sunday, June 26, 2010

I spent an ultra relaxing day with Bonnie and Jon in, and around, their many gardens.

Bonnie has been working hard with all the weeding and tending that's required while Jon lends a hand where, and when, it's needed.

Adam and Eve in paradise.

Ava- What a Day!

No doubt there's a term for the day I have had today - with a wonderful and official new beginning for those of us closely connected with The Fiddlguy's Place immediately followed by a very sad ending - but I can't think of it right now.

When I got home from my two highly productive days working in "the dungeon" I learned Joey - a smart, handsome, plucky, strutting Yorkshire Terrier who came into my life, and the life of the family unit I was part of 16 1/2 years ago - had to be relieved of his suffering through the hands, and the skill, of a kind helper this afternoon.

Oh, right. Now I know.

It's been one helluva day.

He was loved and will be missed.

Like The Sign Says ... "Spec-freakin'-tacular"

I had the very good fortune of listening to the completed versions of XII-The Hanged Man and XIII-Death tonight and they blew my mind.

Then, I listened to the entire "Tarot Immersions" collection, to date, and once more my mind was blown away.

To my listening ears these pieces accomplish the following:

1. They give an small, jewel-like and accurate audio interpretation of each card of the Major Arcana they represent.

2. They are highly unique as individual pieces and therefore they are highly distinguishable from each other.

3. They are eminently listenable.

And, I could not be more pleased.

Ava - Trust Training

As always, my best thinking occurs when I submerge myself in water.

Tonight I thought about a series of instructive dreams I began experiencing when I was in my mid-twenties and on my way home from living in Whistler, B.C..

These dreams - which began with me learning how to be hurled against a solid wall and literally pass through it unscathed (let go completely = relax completely = trust completely) and advanced to me not resisting being bitten by wild and by domestic animals (let go completely = relax completely = trust completely) and, most recently, with me choosing to let go completely = relax completely = trust completely while sitting in the backseat of a driverless, moving vehicle - have all served to train me for exactly where I am in my life today.

Awake, I find myself in the exact position my nighttime training began preparing me for over half my lifetime ago i.e., a position where (for me at least) trust is the piece which makes the whole venture hang together - trust in myself, trust in others, trust in life, trust in the creative process ... trust in the power of love.

To comfortably, and to confidently, extend this much trust in all directions (for me) required training and I am very thankful for the chance to realize the meaning behind its occurrence as it has been rigourous indeed. And, no doubt, it will continue to be because I can see trust is like a muscle that has to be exercised and challenged to stay fit and available.

But, for now, I am happy to say I have accummulated enough trust to plug into my current situation and I do trust everything and, ultimately, everyone I need to trust for this next chapter of my life (as an elder spokesperson sharing my truth) to unfold as it needs to. And, I also know I can be trusted to play a positive part in the unfolding of everyone's elder (or not elder) purposes that I am linked to.

Everyone involved with "The Open Sesames" and, moreover, everyone seriously involved with "The Fiddleguy's Place" is poised on the verge of a positive shift. I know it, and I trust it, and I am excited about this fact for everyone's sake.

Ava - Monday & Tuesday in The Dungeon

Yes, I spent two days in the dungeon this week with Garrick and, by times, with Stuart, with Dan (the new and very accomplished young bass player who has joined in the mix) and with friendly others to make up for my time away in Germany. And, we got so much done!

The "Tarot Immersions Project" is in great shape and all the key contributors are happy and excited with what we are creating. Each immersion is a highly original work of audio art and can be enjoyed on this basis alone. Some immersions have lyrics, some are chants and some are instrumentals to lend variety and scope to the overall collection which will consist of 22 immersions in total (0-The Fool to XXI-The World, inclusive).

XV-The Devil (which, one has to admit, can be a lightning rod for all kinds of negative thoughts and ideas) turned out to be easy to write but hard for me to find the right recording voice for until an off-the-wall approach was taken to the subject matter and then - voila - it all came together in a totally odd and totally satisfying way.

I find myself particularly happy with XV-The Devil because it is such a tricky concept to approach in a way that is positive, truthful and possibly helpful. And, we accomplished it. Actually, we accomplished even more than this because we also managed to add a little campy humour to the material. Good on us!

So ... Thanks, Stu, for lending your intuitive percussive voice to my Germanic vampire voice and making XV-The Devil one of the most screwball, (and therefore one of the most endearing) pieces we have created so far. And, thanks, Garrick for always being open to a different approach.

Monday night we rehearsed four of the six pieces we will be performing as "The Open Sesames" at the August 28th event being held in the Belleville Market Square designed to bring awareness (and liveliness) to the "Buy Local,Share Local" movement the Ontario food banks initiated last year. This was the first opportunity for Dan and I to work together and .... dah, dah, dahhhh ... it was also the first time "The Open Sesames" have gone completely off-the-grid and worked without any computer generated sound tracks. And, not only did we come together the way we all wanted to, and needed to, we proceeded to take right off !!!!!!!!!!

The ball is definitely rolling.

Ava - The Tarot Immersions - "XVII-The Star"

Do you remember when your "tower of power" was rent in two and you fell - from its great height - to the waiting ground far below like a seed?

Now it is time for this seed (that is you) to be stirred into life made anew.

And, whether you fell on the land or in the stream, the light from above and the love which exists below the heavens is now being poured on you in generous measure.

As above,

So below.

Light and love,

To help us grow.

- Chant for "XVII-The Star"

Ava - "romantica" - To Whom It May Concern

As far as the writing side of things go, all the "romantica" pieces are true expressions of something I know and/or value and/or desire. And, the music supports my written (and vocalized) sentiments beautifully.

In the case of "To Whom It May Concern" I am expressing my deep desire to die outdoors when my time comes - and I am trusting in myself to know when this is. This isn't simply a romantic notion of mine. It is something I am going to do everything I can to make come true.

"Will you help me to cross over

While breathing in earthy sweetness

While drinking in heavenly birdsong

And feeling a sense of completeness?"

- To Whom It May Concern

Ava - Congratulations to the Fiddle Guy and to Wolfgang

Yesterday the website for The Fiddleguy's Place was officially published. It's architect and builder, Wolfgang of Flyingwolf Multimedia, has designed and created a site that's dynamic, efficient, informative and useful.

What more could the Fiddle Guy, and his lively group of cohorts, ask for?

Welllllll ........ come to think of it ....... lots and lots and lots and lots of guests visiting and enjoying everything to be discovered here is also in order!

http://www.thefiddleguy.com/

Ava - Need I Say More?

Ava - The Tarot Immersions - "XVI-The Tower"

Breaking the chain that binds does not come about without heroic effort supported by the best of intentions.

Warning: The dethroning of that which has assumed rulership over our lives in such a way as to ultimately restrict our ability to live as freely - and as decently - as possible is not always a pretty experience to undergo and/or to behold.

But, the breakdown (of the old order) releases - at the very time it breaks apart - its own seeds (of renewal) so it is always worth the fall.

Ava - The Tarot Immersions - "XV - The Devil"

It doesn't matter how desirable anything seems to you (to me, to us, to anyone) when the flow of life beomes snagged - and eventually turns into a chain - the devil always presides over that which your chain is attached to.

The devil minds dem chains, child
The devil minds dem chains
Lordy, Lordy please set me free
And let me live again.

- Chorus for "XV - The Devil"

Ava - Reading material for the trip.

From my bedside pile of Chapter's bargain table fiction I have selected, "With", by Donald Harington as the book most likely to keep my mind nicely occupied on the rather long, non-stop flight to Frankfurt, Germany (this along with keeping my mother company and maybe catching a good, in-flight film).

I started the first page and I was hooked. With only a few opening paragraphs it instantly lent credence to the claim on the back of its nicely illustrated cover, i.e.:

"Impossible to categorize, With is a sensual, irresistible tale, full of unexpected twists and turns. What begins as a suspenseful recounting of a child abduction evolves into the story of Robin Kerr growing up in the wilds of the Ozarks on a remote, inaccessible mountain-top. Forced to live off the land without a single person to help her, Robin is never alone; her animal companions grow more numerous every year, and the 'live ghost' of a young boy who once lived on the mountain is her constant companion. Donald Harington, creator of the mythic Ozark town of Stay More, has given us an engaging, fascinating and ultimately triumphant story of survival - and the most original love story ever told."

Now I have to put it aside to be packed and not read a word more of it until the time comes to fully enjoy this story and to benefit from how pleasurable it will make the hours I am held in the air. If it fulfills its promise I will leave it behind for Worth's collection of treasured reading material.

Ava - "XIV-Temperance"

After having looked XIII-Death square in the eye as he passed you by and - at very least - gave you an invitation to accept his dark gift (and, in doing so, to experience the glorious rebirth which follows the timely and necessary death of something outworn, outgrown and outdated) comes your encounter with "XIV-Temperance" - bringing with it the reviving draught of pure and utter mildness required to temper the new life which springs from the energy which becomes available through that which just died to free it.

As the sun rises on a new day,
Be Ye Revived
Be Ye Refreshed
Be Ye Restored
By this draught so pure.

- Chant from "XIV-Temperance"

Ava - "truth or dare" - A Wolf or A Lamb?

As mentioned two blogs ago, along with "The Tarot Immersions" collection The Open Sesames are working on a new collection written strictly from my personal point of view entitled, "Truth or Dare".

And, I will dare to tell my truths (some of which will be very easy because, for instance, it will be the truth about how a May day feels spent on the farm with Bonnie-Sister and her husband, Jon) and some of which will be more daring to reveal but I promise these truths will never be indelicately worded or intended to offend in any way.

Right now I am formulating a piece about how it feels to be a single woman. I have selected the music it will be set to and the chorus has emerged - which sets the tone for the entire piece. Now, all I need to do is to structure and write the verses.

I spent time with my successfully single friend in Bloomfield last night and from our frank and open conversation I realized that living freely and productively as a single women is like walking a tightrope, i.e., it requires discipline, skill, finesse, courage and self-knowledge.

"A wolf or a lamb?
A wolf or a lamb?
What is it that you think I am?
Me, I know the answer true
So, solving this riddle is up to you!

- Chorus from "A Wolf or A Lamb"

Ava - 28 years ago

Worth Hyatt Darling turns 27 two days before his grandmother and I arrive to check out where he lives and works in Germany. This means that almost 28 years ago I made a decision that literally changed my life forever - and for the better.

This decision was to bear and raise the child who came about through a fateful (but doomed) relationship completely on my own.

Overall, this was an unpopular decision 'mongst my circle and was strongly contested by a few. For a while I was without the support of my family and my friends although new friends arrived on the scene who saw my decision to be a 100% single mother in a different light. But, it didn't matter what anyone thought because I knew ... I KNEW ... this was the right thing for me. And, it was. Worth was totally worth it!

I realized today I feel exactly the same way about the work of "The Open Sesames". I don't care who appreciates it or who thinks (for whatever reason) that it should, or should not, be done. I am contributing what I have to give to the work of "The Open Sesames" because I know it is the right venue for my talents and for my passion to create that which is both meaningful and "highly textured". It is the right venue for me to, as Georgia O'Keefe says, "make my unknown known".

I was right about Worth and I am right about this. And, when I know deep down I am right about something being intrinsic to my nature, to my life's growth and to my sense of well-being and purpose then I am prepared to pay whatever price it requires to proceed on my path including that of shunning, shaming and slandering.

In fact, I found that at some point the more less-than-well-founded resistance I encountered regarding my decision to bear and raise my son the more it confirmed to me that I was on the correct path. This additional sense of certainty was part of what helped me tolerate the loneliness and the bleakness of those days which followed me making the very best decision of my life.

Left to my own devices my head is naturally in the clouds (filled with idealism and imagination) and my feet don't touch the ground. But, if something makes complete inner sense to me - and is as crucial and as life-changing as bringing a child into the world (and, now, as bringing my creative vision into the world) - then I not only touch down on the ground I stay on the ground and I am unshakable on my feet.

And, if I have any doubts about the stunningly positive outcome that results from me finally choosing to take on a responsibility, make a commitment, stand against the odds and give everything I have to give then I only have to look at my son for confirmation of my ability to "make good".

Happy birthday to my son and happy birth day to me. In a very real sense we were both born on May 28th, 1983.

Ava - Monday is Dungeon Day

Well, another solidly productive day for two of "The Open Sesames" in the dungeon.

Not only did we settle on a piece of music for "XIII-Death" - which is an instrumental - we also chose the music and recorded the vocals for "XII-The Hanged Man".

The Tarot Immersions project is definitely in good shape to be parked for the time being while I am in Germany visiting my son.

In addition, we selected a piece of music and recorded the vocals for a kinda off-the-wall piece entitled, "I Am A Community". The lyrics are a small but accurate synopsis of Bruce Lipton's leading edge approach to cell health and behaviour vis a vis his seminal book, "Biology of Belief" (http://www.brucelipton.com/). This particular creation is part of the "Truth or Dare" collection which represents my personal views, experiences and outlook.

I'm going to email Dr. Lipton a copy of this tune just for the heck of it. It might be nice for him to know his work has been inspiring in a way he has probably not anticipated. And, because I think this piece is so totally cool I am going to also send it along to Aszure Barton's musical advisor, Pedja (see earlier blog) to give him a further idea of the track we are on and, hopefully, to find out from him if this is a track that will eventually lead to Aszure choosing one of our pieces to interpret with her artists of movement and dance.

This, from the Dr. Lipton's website: The Biology of Belief is a groundbreaking work in the field of New Biology. Author Dr. Bruce Lipton is a former medical school professor and research scientist. His experiments, and that of other leading edge scientists, have examined in great detail the processes by which cells receive information. The implications of this research radically change our understanding of life. It shows that genes and DNA do not control our biology; that instead DNA is controlled by signals from outside the cell, including the energetic messages emanating from our positive and negative thoughts. Dr. Lipton’s profoundly hopeful synthesis of the latest and best research in cell biology and quantum physics is being hailed as a major breakthrough showing that our bodies can be changed as we retrain our thinking.

"Fifty trillion cells am I,

Altogether getting by,

Healthiness in harmony,

I am a community."

- first verse of "I Am A Community"

Ava - "XIII-Death"

As surely as the day dies into the night so does Death visit us all many times - marking the end of stale dreams, desires, ambitions, relationships and situations - before he makes his final pass.

Therefore, grant us all the grace, courage and wisdom to look this dark knight riding upon his white steed square in the eye each time he approacheth.

Let us all learn to love that which is the most difficult to love.

Ava - "XII-The Hanged Man"

Once XI-Justice has been reckoned with, and applied, in the downward progression from "spirit to flesh" (0-The Fool to XXI-The World) XII-The Hanged Man appears to teach about the importance of seeing from a completely new point of view.

It is through severity (of restriction and position) that the splendour (of new found and hard won freedom) is reached.

"Now I have a new perspective.
It's actually quite neat.
My soles are up above me,
And my head where once my feet."

Ava - "romantica" - The Four Queens

I think it is clear by now I love arcane and symbolic ways of viewing life and those around me, including myself. Both astrology and the tarot lend significant meaning to the four elements of fire, water, air and earth when it comes to understanding the basic makeup of people, environments and situations. And, whether it is because I know what to look for (or just wish hard enough to see it) I can and I do observe the truth in this approach.

This partially explains why I wrote "The Four Queens" which gives a thumb nail sketch of each element embodied in the character of a queen. The rest of the explanation is I have a life-long fascination with the great archetypes which appear in the Arthurian Tales, i.e., King, Queen, Priestess, Knight, Wizard, etc. because they inspire me to feel my greatest feelings. As well, I believe in chivalrous behaviour (acting with bravery, courtesy and honour) and do not believe it is - or at least need be - gender specific and would that I do so in all areas of my life.

"Come drink a drop from my cup

Sighs the silky Queen of Water.

You'll hold my heart

And know my soul

Now and ever after.

We'll dim the lights

And count the stars.

We'll dream of sons and daughters.

And, it shall be as I say

For I am the Queen of Water."

- second verse of the "The Four Queens"

Ava - Aszure Barton's Musical Advisor

I sent along an .mp3 sample of our new work to Pedja Muzijevic who serves as Aszure Barton's musical advisor and who is a top flight musician and performer in his own right http://www.pedjamuzijevic.com/.

My goal is to have Aszure interpret one of "The Open Sesame" pieces and I wanted to learn, if possible, if we are on the right track to making my goal come true.

I'm still vividly recalling the performance of Aszure Barton & Artists I saw at The Grand Theatre last month and can think of nothing finer than seeing her interpret something we have created.

Ava - "romantica" - Spiritual Marketplace

I routinely receive a catalogue from "Sounds True" which is a provider of books, CD's, DVD's, kits, etc. (you name it) covering a broad spiritual spectrum.

In the Age Of Aquarius all of the hidden knowledge - once heavily guarded and only passed along under carefully controlled means to a select number of seekers - is openly available to the masses.

Mostly, I see this as a good thing - it at least gives the serious-minded and the well-intended a chance to grapple with subjects and matters which used to be kept high out of reach - but it has also led to the commercialization of spirituality which, in my opinion, is not so great.

In my experience (and in my opinion) spiritual progress definitely comes with a price - and always has - but the price has now become literalized into dollars and cents which both cheapens the wealth of the knowledge being sold and misleads some into thinking the price for this knowledge lies only in its purchase.

"My brothers and sisters
Come one, come all
To the spiritual marketplace.
We're all one happy family
In this one great human race,
In this special cosmic place,
In this one great human race,
In this special cosmic place."

- chorus from "Spiritual Marketplace"