Ava - 28 years ago

Worth Hyatt Darling turns 27 two days before his grandmother and I arrive to check out where he lives and works in Germany. This means that almost 28 years ago I made a decision that literally changed my life forever - and for the better.

This decision was to bear and raise the child who came about through a fateful (but doomed) relationship completely on my own.

Overall, this was an unpopular decision 'mongst my circle and was strongly contested by a few. For a while I was without the support of my family and my friends although new friends arrived on the scene who saw my decision to be a 100% single mother in a different light. But, it didn't matter what anyone thought because I knew ... I KNEW ... this was the right thing for me. And, it was. Worth was totally worth it!

I realized today I feel exactly the same way about the work of "The Open Sesames". I don't care who appreciates it or who thinks (for whatever reason) that it should, or should not, be done. I am contributing what I have to give to the work of "The Open Sesames" because I know it is the right venue for my talents and for my passion to create that which is both meaningful and "highly textured". It is the right venue for me to, as Georgia O'Keefe says, "make my unknown known".

I was right about Worth and I am right about this. And, when I know deep down I am right about something being intrinsic to my nature, to my life's growth and to my sense of well-being and purpose then I am prepared to pay whatever price it requires to proceed on my path including that of shunning, shaming and slandering.

In fact, I found that at some point the more less-than-well-founded resistance I encountered regarding my decision to bear and raise my son the more it confirmed to me that I was on the correct path. This additional sense of certainty was part of what helped me tolerate the loneliness and the bleakness of those days which followed me making the very best decision of my life.

Left to my own devices my head is naturally in the clouds (filled with idealism and imagination) and my feet don't touch the ground. But, if something makes complete inner sense to me - and is as crucial and as life-changing as bringing a child into the world (and, now, as bringing my creative vision into the world) - then I not only touch down on the ground I stay on the ground and I am unshakable on my feet.

And, if I have any doubts about the stunningly positive outcome that results from me finally choosing to take on a responsibility, make a commitment, stand against the odds and give everything I have to give then I only have to look at my son for confirmation of my ability to "make good".

Happy birthday to my son and happy birth day to me. In a very real sense we were both born on May 28th, 1983.